There are many smart and quality options for those who don't make a 6+ figure income. Many semi-custom cabinets have all of the bells-and-whistles one could want. You two need to sit down and work out a budget before proceeding. In general, it is not smart to spend more than 10-15% of the value of your home on a kitchen remodel, and don't plan that you will make much on the resale of the house with the re-do, because buyers will figure they have to "make it their own" and tear everything out no matter what.

It sounds like you have first hand experience with buying "cheap" kitchen cabinets - they just dont hold up more than 5 or 10 years. There are 2 issues with budget kitchen cabinets first is the structure/wood used..if not built correctly the wood dents and joints break with wear and tear. You can inspect for this before buying new cabinets. The finish is also very important and unfortunately it all looks good to start. THis is where you need to go with a reputable brand to ensure a good quality finish. Price for cabinets generally reflects quality so paying more will generally get you better quality cabinets. You can get a remodel cost estimate for your kitchen with the remodel cost calculators at www.remodelormove.com. To save on good quality cabinets select the finish and style you want and then check the brands that offer them then look for sales and specials many times you can find 10% off or more.