The wall is stunning and creative, but sadly, I have to agree with the consensus expressed on all your threads: this wood should have been bone dry, carefully checked over piece by piece for holes, insects, existing fungus etc., and probably treated and certainly well sealed before before being installed. At this point, I would cut my losses and take it down. Once the pieces are all down, it's possible that if you thoroughly scrub off all fungus with a bleach solution, then let them dry bone dry (preferably in a wood kiln or perhaps a DIY drying shed), then treat and coat, these pieces could be reinstalled. Even that depends on the conditions they'll see - if this wall is exposed to lots of steam or grease you'll be having new issues before long. Also, is the wall itself dry and solid? Any chance water is leaking or oozing from somewhere and adding to the issue? What species of wood is this? Some species are naturally more fungus resistant and appropriate for this than others. Long story short, I'd recommend finding a different way to cover the wall - with ceramic, galvanized metal, or with a really scrub-resistant paint.

The wood has to reach what's called Equilibrium Moisture Content (EMC), which is different for various areas of the country/world. I don't know about end grain slabs, which is what you have, but the rule of thumb for lumber air drying (vs. kiln drying) is 1 year for each inch of thickness. Moisture leaves the end grain faster than the side and/or edge of the boards, so in your case the drying time will probably be shorter. If it is not dried in a controlled environment your slabs are going to split radially, due to drying too fast.

You list is all "stone" products. Stone products are natural. The durability is guaranteed with stone. Stain resistant...remove marble and granite from your list. Both can stain and etch and both will do this with "flooring" more than they will with a counter top. Gloss levels all change...but it will take years to do it. All stones have maintenance = homeowner needs to work at keeping stone looking good. Stone = expensive. There is no "benefit" for "reasonable" when working with stone. They all cost plenty of money. Stone is expensive. No way around it. If you want "glossy" that doesn't stain for a "good price" then you have forgotten to mention the BEST option: porcelain tiles. Porcelain will do everything you want for a lower price. Stone is expensive, it can stain (especially "oil" stains) it will "etch" or lose gloss level with certain liquids (acid based liquids will do this) and they all need to be maintained and eventually need repolishing to maintain "gloss". Durable is all you can expect out of stone. The rest of your wish list belongs with porcelain tiles.

you could always use any glass top table with steel frame and put a matt finished steel tray arranged with some metallic miniatures or candle stand or spray paint some wooden table with metallic paint and give an oxidised look.