Family Holidays: How to Remain Sane When Staying With Relatives
Shipping out to spend time with the family this Christmas? Make sure your visit is festive rather than fraught with these tips and ideas
Jo Simmons
21 December 2019
Houzz UK Contributor. I have been an interiors journalist since 1995, writing several books on design and numerous features for glossy homes mags over the years. For Houzz, I cover decorating ideas and trends and interview designers and professionals for their insights to create in-depth features. My favourite pieces to write, though, are Houzz Tours, as I love exploring and learning about real homes. Call me curious — or nosy!
Houzz UK Contributor. I have been an interiors journalist since 1995, writing several... More
With families spread far and wide these days, visiting family over the holiday season often means more than a simple day trip. But staying with your in-laws or returning to the home you grew up in for a few nights can involve its own unique stresses.
Organising the journey, transporting family and presents, squashing up in the spare room and spending long days indoors with the rellies is not always a recipe for a good time. So before you load up the bags and head on to the airport, check out these seasonal ideas for preparing and enjoying a Christmas or a New Year’s away.
Organising the journey, transporting family and presents, squashing up in the spare room and spending long days indoors with the rellies is not always a recipe for a good time. So before you load up the bags and head on to the airport, check out these seasonal ideas for preparing and enjoying a Christmas or a New Year’s away.
Leave your home behind
Not just literally, but emotionally, too. Accept your host’s house rules and accommodate any kinks and quirks in the way they live. Sure, it might not be how you’d do it back home, but for a short time it’s more important to acknowledge your host’s efforts and enjoy Christmas their way.
Not just literally, but emotionally, too. Accept your host’s house rules and accommodate any kinks and quirks in the way they live. Sure, it might not be how you’d do it back home, but for a short time it’s more important to acknowledge your host’s efforts and enjoy Christmas their way.
Channel your inner child
Stop being a jaded adult and get back in touch with your inner child. Reconnect with all that’s fun, celebratory and jolly about the holiday season by joining in party games, playing music and eating your favourite food. See the magic in the Advent calendar, a decorated tree and a roaring fire. You could even leave a stocking out…
Stop being a jaded adult and get back in touch with your inner child. Reconnect with all that’s fun, celebratory and jolly about the holiday season by joining in party games, playing music and eating your favourite food. See the magic in the Advent calendar, a decorated tree and a roaring fire. You could even leave a stocking out…
Travel well to arrive happy
A stressful journey can banish any holiday cheer and set the holiday off on the wrong foot. Ideally leave during comfortable hours for the station or the airport and try to arrive at a pleasant hour that is not too intrusive for your host family.
A stressful journey can banish any holiday cheer and set the holiday off on the wrong foot. Ideally leave during comfortable hours for the station or the airport and try to arrive at a pleasant hour that is not too intrusive for your host family.
Focus on what you have
At some point during the festivities, step back and take a moment to observe everybody in action. The scene may be slightly shambolic, but it’s yours, so enjoy all the people and activity going on around you and try to see it all through wry and forgiving eyes.
At some point during the festivities, step back and take a moment to observe everybody in action. The scene may be slightly shambolic, but it’s yours, so enjoy all the people and activity going on around you and try to see it all through wry and forgiving eyes.
Anticipate issues
Most of us have experienced enough family holidays and Christmases to be able to anticipate the problems that could arise. Does your dad buy terrible wine? Take a few nice bottles yourself. Perhaps your aunt forgets you’re vegetarian? Drop her a line to gently remind her before you leave. Do your kids always go loco around 3pm in the afternoon? Arrange for them to sit quietly with a film at this point in the day, and take a tablet or laptop along so they can watch it without disturbing other people.
You don’t need to trample all over your host’s plans, but guessing where things can come unstuck and being prepared in advance can really help on the day.
Most of us have experienced enough family holidays and Christmases to be able to anticipate the problems that could arise. Does your dad buy terrible wine? Take a few nice bottles yourself. Perhaps your aunt forgets you’re vegetarian? Drop her a line to gently remind her before you leave. Do your kids always go loco around 3pm in the afternoon? Arrange for them to sit quietly with a film at this point in the day, and take a tablet or laptop along so they can watch it without disturbing other people.
You don’t need to trample all over your host’s plans, but guessing where things can come unstuck and being prepared in advance can really help on the day.
Be nice!
Try to swerve family conflict by ignoring any grumbles that surface through the day, and make a point of being the perfect visitor. At dinner, take small servings of everything and compliment the cook. Practise your ‘it’s lovely!’ face for when opening presents, and if you feel your stress levels rising, remember this is just one day in the entire year!
Try to swerve family conflict by ignoring any grumbles that surface through the day, and make a point of being the perfect visitor. At dinner, take small servings of everything and compliment the cook. Practise your ‘it’s lovely!’ face for when opening presents, and if you feel your stress levels rising, remember this is just one day in the entire year!
Leave your own house tidy
If coming home could be the highlight of your Christmas, make sure you leave it looking as neat as a pin. Put a few decorations up before you depart to stay with family so the festive spirit continues once you’re back. You could even squirrel away a few homecoming gifts for you and your immediate family to enjoy quietly together once you’re home.
If coming home could be the highlight of your Christmas, make sure you leave it looking as neat as a pin. Put a few decorations up before you depart to stay with family so the festive spirit continues once you’re back. You could even squirrel away a few homecoming gifts for you and your immediate family to enjoy quietly together once you’re home.
Take a break
Christmas Day itself can involve a lot of time indoors, over-indulging and squashed up with family on too-small sofas. It can feel a tad claustrophobic, so don’t forget to factor in a bit of time out. Go for a walk, sneak off for a bath, creep upstairs for a nap or even volunteer to wash up if it allows you to take five in the kitchen quietly.
Discover 12 ways to warm up your home with throws and blankets
Christmas Day itself can involve a lot of time indoors, over-indulging and squashed up with family on too-small sofas. It can feel a tad claustrophobic, so don’t forget to factor in a bit of time out. Go for a walk, sneak off for a bath, creep upstairs for a nap or even volunteer to wash up if it allows you to take five in the kitchen quietly.
Discover 12 ways to warm up your home with throws and blankets
Create a diversion
If family niggles are beginning to surface, be ready to distract everyone. Pack some goodies from home that might help, including games or a film that everyone will enjoy. Got a cute dog? Take him along, too, and he may provide some welcome light relief. ‘Oh look, everyone, Barney’s stolen a roast potato!’
If family niggles are beginning to surface, be ready to distract everyone. Pack some goodies from home that might help, including games or a film that everyone will enjoy. Got a cute dog? Take him along, too, and he may provide some welcome light relief. ‘Oh look, everyone, Barney’s stolen a roast potato!’
Bring a piece of home
Do as actors or pop divas do on tour, and smuggle something along that reminds you of home. It might be a beautiful decoration, a scented candle, your favourite pillow or a box of indulgent Christmas chocolates. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make all the difference…
Tell us:
How do you ensure Christmas spent with family goes with a festive swing? Share your tips in the Comments below.
Do as actors or pop divas do on tour, and smuggle something along that reminds you of home. It might be a beautiful decoration, a scented candle, your favourite pillow or a box of indulgent Christmas chocolates. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make all the difference…
Tell us:
How do you ensure Christmas spent with family goes with a festive swing? Share your tips in the Comments below.
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This year we are taking homemade Christmas pudding and cake. They both travel well. We also take a bag of bedroom snacks when visiting a lovely relative (who we adore) but is incapable of scheduling meals. A quick bite upstairs when dinner is three hours behind the hosts target time keeps spirits up! In the past we've arrived to find guests who arrived a day earlier virtually gnawing on the table.